My Relationship

In a million years I never would've thought that I would be engaged at the age of 19 :) And I never pictured that I would ever be able to do a long distance relationship. But here I am. And boy is it hard.

Last night Michael mentioned how if I was with him then he would take me with him to his friends house. And we could do normal couple things. And it was then that it dawned on me, that we'll never really get to experience that. And it made me really really sad. I think this relationship is really taking a toll on me. The emotional rollercoaster would be hard on anyone. I think I've cried more the past 4 months then I ever, ever had before. When I'm with him I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life. Because everything feels completely right. But when he leaves, it feels like I'm being ripped apart. It amazes me how much I've already begun to rely on him. I really wish we could get married sooner, because the sooner we get married the sooner we get to be together all the time. It's a hard realization to know that you really don't get to be with the man you love until the day you get married. It feels like in someways we're missing out on the fun dating part. And well perhaps we are, but in other ways I know our relationship is going to be stronger because of this. It forces us to communicate with each other. And be more understanding. And frankly no one would endure this long distance torture unless they absolutely loved each other. And boy do I love him and I know he loves me :) And that is what makes all this worth it!!